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Yes, women masturbate. Yes, it’s awesome

by Xiaolin Li

Kaitlyn Luckow


Image by Elena Koycheva.

 

Male masturbation is usually the brunt of jokes, it’s assumed that all guys do it, and it’s totally fine to talk about and admit.

However, I have found that when women talk about masturbating, people are shocked and it is seen as something dirty or embarrassing. It’s something that is hushed, it’s not talked about, and it makes women afraid of their own bodies.

To be honest (and this is a little embarrassing), I didn’t even know that females could masturbate until I was well into puberty.  

There is a lot of misinformation out there about female masturbation and it causes a lot of myths to rise up around the subject. This can make learning about the female body confusing for a lot of young women and even daunting.   

I wanted to clear the air here. Yes, women masturbate. Yes, it’s awesome. Yes, we can talk about it.

Here are some common myths surrounding female masturbation and the truth behind the lies.

 

Masturbation Will Stop You From Experiencing Orgasms During Sex

This may be one of the most important benefits of masturbation. Women orgasm 26% less than men do (according to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior) and this is for a variety of reasons. Some of the largest reasons, however, are that:

  1. Women don’t know their own bodies
  2. Women are afraid to advocate for what they need

By masturbating, you can become familiar with your own body and what you need in order to experience orgasms. Once you debunk the mystery for yourself, you can then communicate with your partner to let them know what you would like them to do in order for you to experience an orgasm with them.

 

Sex Should Be Just Between You And Your Partner

Many women feel dirty or like they would be doing something wrong if they masturbate while in a relationship. Some may even feel like they’re cheating on their partner by doing so.

However, this stems from societal expectations and norms. I’ve talked to many women who feel this way, but few men who do. Not that this is a bad thing, but this just goes to show something:

Women are taught that our bodies are only sexually meant for someone else.

Female sexuality can exist without someone else. It can exist outside of relationships. Female sexuality is inherent in ourselves. It is part of us--a part that we shouldn’t be taught to be scared of.

Female Masturbation Makes You Kinky

Going off of my last point about society viewing female sexuality as something for someone else, whenever women actually do discuss masturbation, they’re seen as kinky or even “slutty”. This once again plays along with the thought that if a woman is masturbating, it must be to impress or turn-on someone else. In reality, masturbation has nothing to do with impressing anyone else nor does it say anything about our sexual preferences.

 

There Are No Benefits to Masturbation

This couldn’t be further from the truth. There is shame in masturbation through many cultures, but masturbation is not a bad thing. In fact, there are significant health benefits of masturbating. It can help you relieve stress and anxiety, improve your body image, and even help get rid of menstrual cramps. Yup, you heard that right! Something that will help with cramps? Sign me up!

All of these are because when you have an orgasm, your body releases endorphins. Endorphins are great because they literally block pain and make you feel great. This release also helps to increase blood flow throughout your body, which is key for pain management. This blood flow can increase even if you don’t orgasm.

As well as helping with other bodily pain, masturbating on a regular basis can also help you if you’re used to experiencing pain during sex. When you masturbate on a regular basis, it helps your vagina from narrowing, and relieve some tissue and moisture problems you may be experiencing during sexual intercourse.

It’s time to finally get rid of and bust the myth that female masturbation is dirty and wrong. Female masturbation can not only help boost your own self-esteem, but actually can provide great benefits in all aspects of your life.

 

 

 

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